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Every time when I get involved in a new start, no matter a job or serious relationship, just worried abt too many things and found no routes to follow that make s me feel so lost and insecured. Wake at five due to home issue and feel really bad now. Shit mood.

Really hate to handle that negative feeling. Partially from home's issue and partially from you, although I no you never see my blog, lol I think maybe only me seeing my blog lol. Anyway, Sad, I think I don't know what and how to love. Perhaps I am really scared of being hurt in the future once I putting more love into da relationship as the past took me two years to heal and recover. Such a long time and It was like crap dat I don't want to re do it again. Sigh. I am just not good enough, too sensitive about how others see me, especially you I am not caring, always say something wrong and I don't know about it sometime.

All da words I really want to tell you directly but I have no guts to do so. Funny. Can I forget all my bad unhappy experience. Release release. ="(

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